Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
