I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
