can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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