i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
