Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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