i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Terrible idea I love it
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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