I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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