Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
