last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
