She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Randomize
