He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
