wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
