why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
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