you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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