When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
