he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
