dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
