You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
