This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
