Your mouth is God's brothel.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
