I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i may or may not be watching the land before time
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
