his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
