he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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