I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
