i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Pants 0. Shit 1.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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