Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
