I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
