How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
