I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
