I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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