so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
