babies were throwing up all over the place
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
