I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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