He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
