She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
