The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
