so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
