I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He had one of those small greek statue penises
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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