I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
