I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
