Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
