I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
