He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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