my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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