Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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