i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
