What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
