Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
