Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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