I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize