Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(913): View more from Kansas

is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?

(312): View more from Illinois

you sound like my dream girl

Fav 44 4781 857
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(616): View more from Michigan

yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.

Fav 16 708 2792
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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.

Fav 64 17763 2112
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(786): View more from Florida

I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.

Fav 58 1527 7581
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(630): View more from Illinois

You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot

Fav 8 4697 1144
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(314): View more from Missouri

Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off

Fav 2 2374 1190
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(239): View more from Florida

Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.

Fav 23 1583 5711
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls

Fav 5 960 579
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(828): View more from North Carolina

I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??

Fav 6 469 410
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