we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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