hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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