So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
