i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
