You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
