I can tuck mytits in my pants
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
