did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
