Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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