That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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