do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
