Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
