he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
